The rules of dating have changed, especially for women over 40. So you need to make a few changes, shift a few things, alter some of your attitudes and do things in ways you never would have considered before.

Understanding how men think, what they are looking for, and how little it takes to get their attention, is an important step to you becoming more attractive than ever before... even when you were younger.

And believe me when I say it is possible.

I'm living proof because my fiance' almost always dated women much younger than he was.Not because he's shallow but because it made him feel younger to be with women 10 to 15 years his junior. Can you blame him? I certainly don't. I wanted a younger man for the same reasons.

You can be a man's Youth Potion once you know what to do. This is only one of those lessons you need to learn. Be open to a shift in attitude.

To Be Attractive It Is Essential
That You Be Positive

You might be wondering why this is important. Well, one of the most frequent complaints I hear from men who have dated women over 40 is that those women are bitter and angry about past failed relationships and/or bitter and angry at men in general.

Ask yourself if you are angry at men? If the answer is yes, even a tiny bit, that is being carried around inside of you. Imagine how that colors your outlook on life, how you interact with men, your health, your inner well being, and the light in your eyes. An important part of understanding men is knowing that when a man meets a woman who harbors any anger toward men at all, he will leave, never to be heard from again.

Men need to be attracted to what a woman looks like, but more important, at least for a long term partner, they need to be attracted to a woman’s spirit. If a woman is attractive on the outside but the light of her spirit is missing, she will be passed over… again and again. Have you ever felt invisible? If the energy of your spirit is not shining bright, you will be invisible or worse, repellent to most men.

Most men can’t articulate this, and even if they could, they aren’t going to make the effort to explain why they aren’t interested. They just won't call you again. Sadly, this causes a woman to become even more bitter.

So I’m here to tell you that being happy, doing everything you can to enhance your inner glow – the truest sign of joy – is the most important thing you can do for yourself, regardless of the fact that you want to be in a relationship. You must do it for you but the benefit is that you will be much more attractive to men.

The men I’ve talked to about this tell me that most of the women over 40 that they meet are bitter. Most of them . That’s a sad state of affairs but if you become a happy woman, content with your self and your life, you instantly become a rare and precious commodity. Then if you do all of what I advise in The Smart Woman's Guide To Finding Love, you will become a treasure who will be scooped up by a very special man. 

Of course, being positive is universal advice but when you're dating it’s especially important because you need to be as attractive as possible so he will be interested enough to want to get to know you. Being positive and happy makes you more attractive than just about anything else you can do.

Magazines, books and your girlfriends don’t seem to know the most attractive quality for any man who is worth getting to know, is happiness.

Being positive makes you someone fun to be with, helps others stay positive, and people want to be around your positive energy in hopes that it will rub off on them. Being positive is especially important if you’re looking for a long-term commitment because one of men's greatest fears is that the woman they fall in love with will turn into someone who is unhappy.

Here are 14 ways to develop a more positive attitude:

1) Remember to put a smile on your face.

You will be more approachable, more attractive, and you’ll feel better because smiling creates chemical changes within you that are your body's natural heroine. They’re called endorphins. Smiling, laughing, exercising, and having sex all create a rush of endorphins. When you feel good you’ll automatically have a happier attitude, which will make you want to smile.

2) Sometimes it’s not appropriate to walk around with a big smile on your face.

The primary way being positive makes you more attractive is that it creates positive energy that others can feel. So when it's not appropriate to wear a big smile you can still benefit by wearing a mini-smile.

It’s subtle but if you close your eyes and smile just enough to feel a shift in how you feel, you’ll be able to carry that feeling around with you all the time. A good way to understand what I mean is to experience it.

Do the following: Sit with your eyes closed. Slump your shoulders forward, drop your head forward just a bit, then frown just a little. Notice how that feels inside your body. Now, sit up straight, put your shoulders back, lift your head and smile just a tiny bit. Notice how this feels. Go back and forth between the two so you can become completely familiar with the contrast.

If you can't feel the difference, try smiling bigger, sit up very straight, and hold your head high. Once you notice the difference, do the exercise with barely a smile.

You will have to consciously practice feeling happy inside but with time, this will become a very nice habit. When I started doing this several years ago it completely transformed my outlook on life and people began to respond differently to me. They didn't know what was different but I certainly did.

3) When you find yourself being negative, upset, frustrated, angry or blaming, look at the situation and see what value there is in it.

Whether you know it or not, there is value in everything you do, especially if it is a painful experience. Is there a lesson to be learned? Is there an opportunity to grow, to know yourself better? Maybe there’s a negative value that is keeping you stuck, like you getting to be right or feeling superior. Ask yourself why you’re being negative or feeling upset?

Then do what you can to let go of the harmful feeling and replace it with a positive feeling. A great way to change a negative feeling into a positive feeling is to remind yourself of something you’re grateful for. It’s amazing how something so simple is enough to release the steam that has built up within you.

4) Journaling can help you sift your attitude.

Get yourself a blank book or binder and whenever you feel the need, write. Write about your feelings, about the situation, about what you’re learning, anything and everything, just write and write. Journaling helps to cleanse the soul and gain new insight that you might not have if you hadn’t taken the time to write. And just the act of writing with a pen or pencil often facilitates the release of poisonous feelings.

5) Develop an attitude of acceptance.

You certainly don't want to be a doormat so that life walks over you, but you should make a habit of doing everything you can to make things work out the way you want, then hand it over to the universe and trust that it will work out perfectly. Sometimes it doesn't work out the way you wanted or expected but you can't blame yourself if you have done everything you can to get the outcome you desire.

6) Develop a belief that whatever is happening is supposed to be happening or it wouldn't be happening.

If you look at every situation as something that is placed before you, either with purpose or by accident, as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and thus and opportunity to grow and become a better, stronger, wiser person, than you’re less likely to get upset.

Some of these I call A.F.L.E.© (Another Fucking Learning Experience. This helps add a bit of humor and acceptance to most of the ca-ca that we step into once in a while. (Sorry about the F Word but it's the only one that works.)

7) Look for the good in every person with whom you interact.

I don't like everyone I meet, particularly obnoxious people who try too hard to be liked and then turn everyone off, or people who are negative, or people who are boorish braggarts. But my heart goes out to even those truly undesirable people because I know they are hurting.

If an undesirable person triggers my compassion, even though I can’t wait to get away from them, then that is, for me, finding the good.

7a) Along with looking for the good in everyone is having true compassion.

Try to see things from their perspective. Everyone is the center of their own universe and often we forget that there are a variety of ways to see every situation.

8) Do whatever you can to be the most attractive woman you can be.

If you need to lose weight, don't make excuses, get out there and start exercising and eating right. There is no other way. I know it’s not easy but if you don’t lose the weight don’t complain that you’re overweight and don’t complain that men can’t see past your body. If you don’t find yourself your most ultimate level of attractiveness, why should he?

The best thing you can do for yourself is to sign up for 40, Fit & Fabulous right now. You'll love Lisa's programs.

Get a good haircut, coloring (if you don’t want to go natural) and style. Make sure your clothes are in good condition and flattering, especially the colors you wear. You don't have to have on the latest style if you’re wearing something that’s great on you. Be sure your teeth are healthy and sparkly. Over-the-counter whitening systems work great and can really make a difference. And of course, flash that smile as often as possible.

9) Don't badmouth your ex boyfriends or husbands.

If they were scoundrels speak of their deeds without emotion or anger. Always look for the lessons in each relationship that did not work out so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes and can move ever closer to the fulfilling relationship you deserve.

If you're in the habit of trashing men with your women friends, stop right now. As long as that behavior perpetuates, you won't be able to release whatever anger you are holding inside.

When you're getting to know a new man it’s best to avoid conversations about ex’s in the first few dates except in the most general terms, even if he’s pressing you for details. Prepare yourself for when the topic comes up by remembering something good about your past sugnificant relationships. There has to be something or you would not have fallen in love with them.

10) Be upbeat in your conversations.

Don't get angry when you discuss things that have happened to you. It makes you extremely unattractive and depending on how worked up you get, you can become downright repellant, causing a man to want to get away from you as quickly as possible. If you had a bad day, talk about it with grace.

11) Don't get angry about politics or religion.

These topics should be avoided in the very beginning of dating someone, but when you need to find out how well you are matched, discuss these things in a matter-of-fact, level-headed way. If you’re passionate about something, go ahead and express yourself, but do so with Feminine Grace.

12) Practice gratitude.

When you go to bed at night list what you’re grateful for. It will begin to train your outlook on life to be much more positive. A few years ago I started listing what I’m grateful for right before going to sleep. It has helped me sleep better and I wake up excited to get on with my day. Try it and see what happens for you. (It's also a better sleep potion than counting sheep.)

13) Be in awe of the magnificent gift of being human, on this amazing planet, at this fascinating time in history.

This will expand your enthusiasm for being alive by leaps and bounds. Developing an attitude of celebration will expand your positive energy many fold. When that happens you will be much more attractive.

14) Be playful whenever it’s appropriate.

Have fun with people you meet, young and old. Develop a habit of being the kind of person who makes people feel happy to be alive. Flirt with everyone, young and old. Compliment and appreciate others, let them know you notice them, use their name when there's a name tag or ask their name and use it. You'll feel better and so will everyone you meet.

I hope you're getting my point. There is a lot you can do to consciously become a positive person. The more you develop the qualities described above, the more desirable a mate you will be. The greatest benefit to you is that you’ll be happier and enjoy your life more, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

That’s worth every ounce of energy you put into becoming the most positive Woman you can possibly be.

Let The Real You Shine Through I designed to help you become the most attractive, happy, fulfilled woman you've ever been. If you're ready to take charge of your life this course is a perfect way to start.

I'm here to help you have the confidence and skills to enjoy the relationship of your dreams. Inspiring you to love, The Heart Specialist