Your essence is your true, beautiful, glorious, magnificent self. It is what is most attractive to men, especially as we and they get older. When you shine, men notice.

Are you consciously aware that within you is a woman who is your dream-come-true version of yourself? Do you know that she already exists, waiting for you to invite her to show herself, in her full glory? Are you aware that all you need to do is allow your essence to express itself?

Lately, I’ve learned how I have done my own essence a disservice by an unconscious belief I’ve held about myself. I just discovered this about myself and it came from my early childhood. Now that I’m aware of this belief I’ve had about myself, I’m staying aware of it so I can reverse old patterns that have caused me harm. This is part of the coaching that I offer through WomanToWomanHeartToHeart.com

Your essence is expressed through your creativity, through the joy of just being, by loving, by playing, by nurturing yourself as well as others, by enjoying the world through your senses when you take the time to enjoy a luscious scent, a truly amazing meal, the pleasure of touching silken cloth, the beauty of the sun shining through a flower, through sexual expression (which means allowing that energy to flow through, not necessarily having a lover), even by dancing in your underwear to your favorite music in your living room.

If you’re tired, exhausted, listless, lonely, frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful, unmotivated, then that means you are not connected to your essence, you are not allowing and encouraging your woman energy to flow through you and you are not giving yourself the love and nurturing you need and deserve. If this is going on, how can you expect a man to be attracted to you or want to get close?

To enjoy your life, to draw love to you, to be loved and cared for by friends, family and a good man, you need to be expressing your essence as fully and completely as you can. Every time I get into one of my “potty holes” I know I am much less attractive to everyone with whom I interact. My course, Let The Real You Shine Through – available for free to my members – is all about you expressing your essence, which will cause you to fall in love with yourself like never before. This is particularly important because how you love yourself is exactly how a man will love you. You are the owner’s manual for how to love you, treat you, respect you and enjoy you. If you aren’t doing all these things for yourself, how can you expect a man to? So, my dear, lovely one, how is your essence? Are you showing it to the world? Are you enjoying it? Are you celebrating it? Are you as “shiny” as you can be? If not, I would be honored to show you how.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
WomanToWomanHeartToHeart.com

If you find men not paying much attention to you in the next coming weeks, it might not be you, it might be money worries. With what is going on in the economy men tend to go inward when they are concerned about their finances or their jobs. They aren’t thinking about dating other than maybe to get laid, which relieves them of the worry for a short time. So even though you might be worried as well, men take it as a jolt against their manhood. It’s not personal because they really can’t see you when their mind is filled with concerns about their future and their financial world.

When you do find yourself in a conversation with a man, keeping this in mind, being gentle and understanding, and open to just listening, might be exactly what will cause him to come out of his fog and really notice that you are someone special

Please come visit my coaching website where you not only get monthly opportunities for private coaching, you also get all my ebooks and courses as part of your small monthly membership fee.

From my heart to yours,

You’ve Got To Seize the Moment or He Could Get Away Forever

How many times have you seen someone you were attracted to and didn’t say or do anything, then regretted it later, knowing the odds of running into that person again were next to impossible? What could you have done to meet him?

Something happened to me last week at the market and I thought I would share it as an example of possibilities.

I was at the market and there was a very attractive man at the bread counter with me. He had a nice smile, nice body, blond hair, relaxed, and he was obviously comfortable with himself. We exchanged smiles.

I got in the checkout line and he got in line behind me. He saw my tofu and tempeh and asked if I was a vegetarian. We had a fun conversation as I explained that I used to be and why I no longer am. After I paid for my groceries, I left. There seemed to be obvious interest on his part. I, however, was not open to him, because I’m in a very happy relationship. He, no doubt, sensed no invitation to pursue. If I had been available, I would have kept the conversation going, and, if he didn’t ask first, I would have said something like, “This was fun; would you like to have coffee sometime?” A little scary, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The next part is where it gets the most difficult. Because we’re taught to be polite and aren’t good at being direct and honest, most people would say “sure,” if they were not in a relationship, and either take my number or give me theirs. The trick is to watch the reaction to see if they’re really being honest. This takes practice. If it’s a little questionable, then don’t count on the return phone call.

I don’t recommend that you call him because you’ve already kind of taken on a bit of the man’s role by bringing up the subject of coffee. If he says you can call him, tell him that it was hard enough to ask for coffee, that you would feel too pushy to call him. You want things back where the dance of man/woman energy is most fun. If he insists, make a joke and tell him you were taught as a girl not to call boys. Just play and flirt until he says he’ll call you. If he’s being polite you’ll probably feel his lack of interest. It’s best to let go of any expectations.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
DatingSuccessTechnology.com

Men are ever watchful to avoid getting involved with high maintenance women. You’ve heard of High Maintenance women but do you know what that means? Hopefully, after I explain this sad malady, you’ll cleanse any HM behaviour you might have going.

First, a high maintenance woman needs things to be just right.  She extremely particular what restaurant, or type of restaurant, she needs to be taken to. She’s extremely particular what table she needs to sit at. She’s extremely particular how she needs her food to be prepared. She’s extremely particular about how she needs her date to dress. She’s extremely particular about where she needs to go on a vacation. She’s extremely particular what kind of kids she needs her date to give her. Okay… you get the point. There are two words here that you should have picked up on. One is “extremely” and the other is “needs.”

Second, with all those needs, she is going to point out when things aren’t right. Most men won’t go on a second date with this kind of woman because she’s unpleasant to be around. But some women keep this behavior under tight wraps at first, trying to put her best stelitto forward. But when her needs are this extreme, they squish out eventually.

And that’s when the guy starts heading for the door. It’s pretty obvious to spot this kind of woman and even more obvious why a man would not want to get involved with her. Even her women friends an handle only so much of her self-centered behavior.

But what about the Stealth High Maintenance woman? This kind of woman sneaks up on a man, he doesn’t realize that’s what he’s got. All he knows is that he doesn’t feel good being around her.So how to you define a SHM woman? She lets her date know in subtle ways that he’s disappointing her. She sighs when she says, “Sure, that restaurant will be just dine.” But he can tell that he’s blowing it, he just doesn’t quite know why.

The SHM woman doesn’t get second or for sure, third dates very often. She doesn’t understand why and neither does he. What’s going on is she doesn’t know the most powerful strategy for getting and keeping a man’s interest.

Do you want to know what that strategy is? Be the reason he feels good, the reason his mood is lighter, the reason he’s happy he’s a man. You have the power to do that. Get my book, Men Made Easy and learn all 12 secrets and you will be the kind of woman he won’t want to lose. How do you get my book?

Three ways: Order it as a downloadable ebook at MenMadeEasyEbook.com. Go to Amazon.com and get the softbck. Or, become a member of WomanToWomanHeartToHeart.com and get this book for free plus all of my other dating courses and books, personal dating coaching and the support of other members, all included for one low monthly membership fee. I look forward to getting to know you.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
WomanToWomanHeartToHeart.com

I was talking with my newest member recently and she mentioned that it was uncomfortable to give compliments, appreciation and acknowledgments. (For this discussion, let’s call them CAAs)

As you may have noticed, I call myself The Heart Whisperer™. So I always come from the perspective of opening my heart to the other person’s.

The simplest way to get past any discomfort you might be having offering CAAs is to do the following:

A. Remember that everyone, I mean everyone, craves CAAs. Even the most famous, powerful and wealthy. Actually, the desire for CAAs is what drives many who have achieved much.

B. Realize that offering any one of the CAAs sincerely, will make the other person feel good. Part of sincerity is to only offer a CAA when you feel compelled to do so, not to get someone to like you or to manipulate them in any way. Yes, I advise strongly that part of dating smart is to offer CAAs often. But they need to come from your heart to be sincere. You must really mean it, be truly impressed and then enjoy offering it.

C. Expect nothing in return. Look at any offering of CAAs as little gifts, wrapped up with a bow, simply to make someone feel good. If you imagine that your heart energy is reaching out to theirs then it will become easy to CAA just about anyone.

And on that note, if you have been uncomfortable giving compliments, appreciation and acknowledgments, it seems reasonable that you would need to practice. So the best way to practice is to start with little children. They are always the least intimidating.

I try to avoid telling a child they’re cute or pretty. We focus too much on appearances so I don’t want to add to that. So I often look for the one thing that might become an issue later in life. If they have freckles, tell them how special and unique their freckles make them, or if they have red hair, tell them how beautiful their hair is, or if it’s a little boy, tell them, “Wow, I really like your red hair. It’s great.” Or if you have a conversation with a child, end by telling them how smart they are.

Realize that you could be that stranger they remember who made them feel good about themselves when everyone around them is putting them down. Or if a little boy jumps off a step, tell him how strong or athletic or powerful he is. Can you feel how this type of awareness and caring comes from the heart? Once you become a natural at doing this with children, start doing the same thing with adults who are completely un intimidating.

Offer CAAs at work, to your family, to your friends, and yes, even to the men you date. As you become comfortable with each stage, you’ll eventually become a natural at offering CAAs and a side affect is that you will be liked by others more than ever.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
KaraOh.com

One of the biggest mistakes women make (and sometimes men) is that they grill a man with questions that make him feel like he’s there for a job interview. “Do you want to get married?” “By when?” “Do you want children?” “How soon and how many?” “What kind of job do you have?” “Do you own your own home?” “Where is your home?” Do you see how a man might react to this type of questioning? A date should be fun, not torture.

On the first date, there should be 3 goals:
1. Help him feel relaxed (which helps you feel relaxed),
2. enjoy each others company,
3. learn about each other in a fun way. Period.

Remember, this is not the first step to the alter. It’s just a date.

With the following questions, you can achieve all 3 of the above goals. That’s because they’re playful, curious, not intimidating, and you can both answer the questions, creating a fun conversation where you can relax, enjoy each other and learn who the other person is. But don’t go down the list, one after the other. Just work them into the conversation naturally. And don’t forget the first rule of being a great conversationalist: be a good listener.

Here are 6 first date questions:

1. What historical figure would you like to talk to and what would you say?
2. What do you think people most admire about you?
3. What makes you unique.
4. What are you really good at?
5. What is your favorite way to spend time with friends?
6. What are you most proud of?

If you like these questions, in my Dating Basics ebook, there are more first date questions and several second and third date questions. Each list is designed to go a little deeper into who each of you are, but in a fun and non-threatening way.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
DatingSuccessTechnology.com
KaraOh.com

Relationship Success Systems, Inc.
29438 Quailwood Drive
Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275

I’ve been having fun on Facebook since June. When looking around for “friends” to connect with, I’m fascinated to see what poses and attire some women choose for their photos. I’d love to write to them to ask if they are looking for nookie and not friends. If I was a man, I would not think of anything other than nookie.

This idea of what message a woman is sending got me to thinking that I should say something to you about what to wear on a date.

So here are: 3 Ways To Send The Right Message With Your Appearance

1) If you’re looking for someone to marry or create a long-term relationship with, you need to wear something that is flattering and shows off the best aspects of your figure, but without doing anything suggestive. Don’t wear anything that shows cleavage. I’m sorry but the message gets clouded when you’re being blatantly s•e•x•ual. And even the most gentlemanly man will be distracted. Besides, you don’t want a man to date your bre*asts, you want him to date you, the person within.

2) Don’t be too perfectly put together or over the top. The more extreme your attire the more you narrow the number of men who will find you attractive. If you’re over 35, you’re already dealing with a dwindling number of men who will be interested, simply because you are over 35. So dress flattering but relaxed, feminine, soft, pretty. That doesn’t mean ruffles and lace, just be more unstructured. Especially don’t wear business attire. He’s learned to ignore that the women he works with are female so don’t look like what he deals with professionally.

3) Don’t be extreme in your hair and make-up. If you wear your hair teased and sprayed, in any kind of a severe style or cut, you are, once again, narrowing the field of possibilities. Keep your hair soft and touchable and your cut flattering and feminine. I used to have ultra short hair and everyone said I looked great in it. It was flattering but severe, striking but not enticing.

The same goes for make-up. The more extreme, the fewer men will be interested. So keep your eye shadow neutral, no blue or purple, certainly not that awful pink that makes a woman look ill. Keep the rouge a natural glow and your lipstick flattering but not too red. Everything should be kissable, not scary. And gloss should not be used or at least, kept at a minimum. Most men say they don’t want to get near that “gook” as they call it.

If you’re not sure about how you put yourself together, ask a friend or hire a wardrobe consultant. You want to look as fresh, youthful but age-appropriate, natural, and as fun as possible. If you’ve gotten in the habit of dressing over the top or at the other end, matronly, it’s time for an intervention.�

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
DatingSuccessTechnology.com
Also: KaraOh.com

This was a comment from Rob when he wcommented on a note I had sent him on Facebook:

Director of the School of Charm, Seduction and Feminine Grace. And I guess from your profile that it really is. And what about us poor fellas that could really use some masculine grace?

Here’s my response to him:

Probably the male version of grace would be a quiet power, polished, smooth and in control of his body. A graceful athlete is a thing to behold. As you probably know, a lot of men are a bit unconscious about their bodies and don’t understand that a “grraceful” man is sexy and very masculine. Think Cary Grant. Enough said.
From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
P.S. For men who don’t know what it means to have polish, grace and heart-melting masculinity, watch a few Cary Grant movies. Pierce Brosnon is the closest actor I can think of who has those qualities.
DatingSuccessTechnology.com
DatingSuccessTechnologyForMen.com
KaraOh.com

Someone received a message from me and at the bottom after my name I always put The Heart Whisperer™ and Director of The School Of Charm, Seduction and Feminine Grace. I got the following message back from one man:

Sounds good.

But how do you teach seduction?

I learned from Playboy.

(A lot of good it did me)

Here’s my response to him:

There’s an art to seduction. When a woman is being blatently sexy, she’s not being seductive. And when a man is just trying to get into a woman’s panties, that’s not seduction. Watch some old Carey Grant movies. A man who honors who a woman is, who is respectful, playful in a gentlemanly way, who takes his time with each step of the process of seduction, is what a woman will want. When I used to teach my sex workshops I brought in a panel of men or women, depending on the gender of the audience. Whenever I asked the women what I should tell the men, they always said to tell them to SLOOOOOOW down.

Obviously, there’s more to it than that, but hopefullly you get my drift. There’s an entire community online called PUA. Stands for Pick Up Artists. That is definitely not seduction.

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
DatingSuccessTechnology.com
KaraOh.com

I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose. On page 88 he talks about how we play rolls to attract someone to “make me happy, make me feel special, make me feel complete.” The problem with rolls is that we’re not showing a man our true, authentic self. So if he falls in love with your role, it won’t last. But most likely, because your energy is not “clean” but kind of muddy, he most likely won’t be interested.

I have no desire to guide women to be “in a relationship. ” I only have an interest in guiding women to be in a GREAT relationship. If you are hoping a man will make you happy, you will never be satisfied. That’s because happiness can only come from inside you. Until you understand that, and want it bad enough to do whatever you can to make that a reality, you will always be seeking, never knowing how good life can be.

Here are a few snippits from Let The Real You Shine Through, my self-guided course, and Step #4 in my Dating Success System. It’s designed to help you glow brightly, as your most authentic self. Bottom line? The happier you are, the brighter you will glow and the brighter you glow, the more quality men you will attract.�

Here’s an excerpt from Let The Real You Shine Through:

Definition of Woman Energy: Woman Energy is the energy that flows through each woman, allowing her to feel love, sensuality, sexuality, nurturing and the exuberance for life, joy, happiness and spiritual adventure. When any part of this energy is stuck a woman will not feel fully alive. To the degree she’s not feeling fully alive, she is going to be invisible or even repulsive to men.

The primary goal of this course is for you to unblock your Woman Energy so you become the most attractive you’ve ever been, even more than when you were in your 20s. When your Woman Energy is flowing smoothly you will actually glow. That’s what will cause men to be drawn to you. I call it your G.L.O.W. Flow…

You don’t know it yet, but if your Glow Flow isn’t all it can be then you cannot love and be loved, at least not to the degree you would like. On the flip side of that is something just as troubling: if your Glow Flow isn’t radiating men won’t be attracted to you. They see you as an individual, but they don’t really notice you, which means they can’t see you as a potential mate. They need to be attracted for that to happen. Men need to feel your Glow Flow pulsating out toward them. Otherwise, it’s almost as if you’re invisible. They aren’t aware that all this is going on, and they don’t need to be. You do. You’re in charge of your Glow Flow and my goal is to help you get it dusted off, polished shiny-bright, and radiating like never before in your life.

Throughout time the heart has been used as a metaphor and symbol of love. What I can do for you is to gently guide you to awaken your ability to open your heart so your soul mate can find you and your life can be fuller, freer and filled with love. Once you’ve accomplished that, you’ll be the kind of woman men notice… in all the ways you want. And even more important, you’ll be happier.

You Are Most Attractive When You Are Happy and Fulfilled

When your Glow Flow starts flowing you’ll notice that you step a little livelier, you smile more often and life seems a bit more sparkly. And you’ll also notice men looking at you with newfound interest. When you get your Glow Flow moving at full throttle, you’ll be truly magnificent.�

I hope this helps you be more inspired to make your own happiness, real, true, authentic happiness, your top priority. Then you won’t be “needing” a man, you’ll want one for all the right reasons. And believe me, this change alone will completely transform how men respond to you. Neediness repels men, wanting them draws them to you. It’s all up to you…

Find out about this life transforming self-guided course here, but I recommend you to Step #1 (which is F R E E and Step #2 (which will teach you the core basics of smart dating). Let The Real You Shine Through�

From my heart to yours,
Kara
The Heart Whisperer™
DatingSuccessTechnology.com

KaraOh.com