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Women's Dating Success Newsletter

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April 16th , 2008

I'm in Florida, on Captiva Island, watching the white caps on the ocean and bundled inside in my sweater and thick sox. I was so excited to wear fun, summery clothes so I have nothing warm except my travel clothes. Silly me.

In this issue:
1) Turn Each Date Into A Hunt For Treasure
2) Don't Expect A Man To Make You Happy
3) If You're Not Playful... Why Not?

1) Turn Each Date Into A Hunt For Treasure
One of the things I've noticed is that when women over 40 get back into the dating scene they get way too serious. It's like they've taken on this mission and to accomplish it, they have to grit their teeth, put their head into the wind, and plow forward. Come on, think about it, haven't there been times when that's what dating feels like? Gotta get the goal, gotta get the goal... gotta get the man. How fun is that? You know it wears you out, and that's why you quit trying, or at least, take some time off.

To help you lighten your outlook on dating, would you please try being playful as an experiment. Attitude colors every one of your experiences, each and every day. So here's what I want you to do. Sit quietly and think about going on a date, or getting started dating if you haven't yet taken the leap. Notice how that feels in your body. Is there a sense of dread or excited anticipation? Does it feel like work or does it lighten your spirit?

Now imagine how the thought of going on a date can be turned into a sense of fun. Imagine being a little girl and going on a treasure hunt. Make a list of what treasures you might find. Make a new friend, an opportunity to laugh, learn a new bit of useful or interesting information, enjoy the thrill of first touch, explore a new peek at who you can be? What can you find on your treasure hunt? Make a list of possibilities, then imagine going on a date with that girlish anticipation of what you'll discover. Feel it in your body, then when you go on your next date, allow those feelings to guide you to all the treasures that are waiting for you.

2) Don't Expect A Man To Make You Happy
I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth, Awakening To Your Life's Purpose. On page 88 he talks about how we play rolls to attract someone to "make me happy, make me feel special, make me feel complete." The problem with rolls is that we're not showing a man our true, authentic self. So if he falls in love with your role, it won't last. But most likely, because your energy is not "clean" but kind of muddy, he most likely won't be interested. I have no desire to guide women to be "in a relationship. " I only have an interest in guiding women to be in a GREAT relationship. If you are hoping a man will make you happy, you will never be satisfied. That's because happiness can only come from inside you. Until you understand that, and want it bad enough to do whatever you can to make that a reality, you will always be seeking, never knowing how good life can be.

Here are a few snippits from Let The Real You Shine Through, which is designed to help you glow brightly, as your most authentic self. Bottom line? The happier you are, the brighter you will glow.

From Let The Real You Shine Through:

Definition of Woman Energy: Woman Energy is the energy that flows through each woman, allowing her to feel love, sensuality, sexuality, nurturing and the exuberance for life, joy, happiness and spiritual adventure. When any part of this energy is stuck a woman will not feel fully alive. To the degree she’s not feeling fully alive, she is going to be invisible or even repulsive to men.

The primary goal of this course is for you to unblock your Woman Energy so you become the most attractive you’ve ever been, even more than when you were in your 20s. When your Woman Energy is flowing smoothly you will actually glow. That’s what will cause men to be drawn to you. We call it your G.L.O.W. Flow...

You Need To Jump-Start Your Heart

You don’t know it yet, but if your Glow Flow isn’t all it can be then you cannot love, at least not to the degree you would like. On the flip side of that is something just as troubling: if your Glow Flow isn’t radiating men won’t be attracted to you. They see you as an individual, but they don’t really notice you, which means they can’t see you as a potential mate. They need to be attracted for that to happen. Men need to feel your Glow Flow pulsating out toward them. Otherwise, it’s almost as if you’re invisible. They aren’t aware that all this is going on, and they don’t need to be. You do. You’re in charge of your Glow Flow and my goal is to help you get it dusted off, polished shiny-bright, and radiating like never before in your life.

...Throughout time the heart has been used as a metaphor and symbol of love. When I say you need to jump-start your heart, what I really mean is you need to jump-start your entire being, from deep within you all the way out to the surface so that your Glow Flow gets turned on again. Once you’ve accomplished that, you’ll be the kind of woman men notice… in all the ways you want.

You’re Most Attractive When You Are Happy and Fulfilled

When your Glow Flow starts flowing you’ll notice that you step a little livelier, you smile more often and life seems a bit more sparkly. And you’ll also notice men looking at you with newfound interest. You see, when you get your Glow Flow moving at full throttle, you’ll be truly magnificent.

I hope this help you be more inspired to make your own happiness, real, true, authentic happiness, your top priority. Then you won't be "needing" a man, you'll want one for all the right reasons. And believe me, this change alone will completely transform how men respond to you. Neediness repels men, wanting them draws them to you. It's all up to you...

To begin glowing more brightly you can start your course tonight!
Let The Real You Shine Through

3) Stir A Little Play Into Your Day
On the airplane trip to Florida on Monday Chris asked if I'd packed the extra mouse so we'd both have one. I said that they were in my suitcase. In a silly mood, he asked if they had enough air to survive. I told him that yes, indeed they would do just find, because (in a tiny voice) I said, "They have little bitty lungs and take little bitty breaths." Then I did my impression of a mouse taking little bitty, very rapid, breaths. He started laughing uncontrollably, which caused me to laugh just as hard. It was even more fun because we were trying to hold it down because of the other passengers. Then, every so often, I'd lean over and say, "Itty, bitty breaths." We'd crack up once again. All day we had the best time with our game, which made the trip go much easier.

My question to you is: Can you look for opportunities to be silly, to be playful, to have fun? If you tend to be serious all day, getting your work done, look for at least one opportunity to relax enough to see an opportunity for lightness. The more you can do this, the more brightly you will glow, which is the greatest gift you can give yourself, those around you, and God. If you're not celebrating life, you're not living as fully as you can. And if you're not living fully, you're kind of slapping God in the face. It's a precious gift God has given you, this gift of being alive, so you'd better make the most of it or one day, you'll look back on your life and wonder, "What the heck happened?"

Inspiring you to love,

Kara Oh