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May 16th , 2008

It's a beautiful warm day here in Santa Barbara. Why is it that the best weather shows up right when I'm going to a place that's famous for good weather? Last time it was warm in California (where you can go out at night without a jacket) I went to Florida. Now, on Sunday, Chris and I leave for Hawaii for 2 weeks. I'll be writing to you from our time-share on the Big Island. The air quality might be bad because of the eruption in March, which is still spewing noxious gas into the air. At least the wind is blowing the sulphur smell in the opposite direction from where we're staying. If it's too bad we'll go to another island. I'll let you know how it's going.

This and previous newsletters are here

In This Issue...
1) How To Use The Love Triangle™
2) Can You Spot How Is She's Blowing Her Chance At Long Term Love?
3) Thank You For Sharing With Me
4) You Want A Good Man You Can Respect

1) How To Use The Love Triangle™
If you've been with me for a while you've heard me mention the Love Triangle before. Here's a better explanation so you can use it as one of your tools for greater awareness, which is the only way to improve any part of our lives in any lasting way.

The Love Trangle™:

• In the center of the triangle is Desire. Desire sets everything in motion.

• Side 1: Awareness. Once you have a desire you'll start to notice things you might not have noticed before. Like when you decide you want to purchase a yellow Beetle car. All of a sudden they're everywhere. So Awareness is the first side of the triangle. In this case, desiring more Heart Connections. This desire will awaken your awareness to the potential for Heart Connections that are all around you – which previously, you hadn't noticed.

• Side 2: Intention. From desire and awareness, you set your intention, in this case, to have more Heart Connections. Once you're aware that it would be a good thing to seek Heart Connections, you set your intention to make it happen, then, you start having more of them because you're paying attention (aware).

• Side 3: Energy. The third side of the Love Triangle is Energy. As you begin to have more Heart Connections, your energy is elevated and enhanced, you feel better, more open, expanded, more in love with life. The more aware you become of this easily attained improvement in how you feel, your desire to have more Heart Connections will grow, your intention will be stronger, your awareness of potential Heart Connections will expand, and you will begin to have them all the time. This will keep you in a state of heightened energy, what I call "being in love." When you're in this state, people are drawn to you... yespecially men.

Yesterday I had a lovely Heart Connection with an elderly man at Starbucks. We were waiting for our coffee to be prepared and he seemed out of place because he was tottery and quite elderly. I guess I think of Starbucks as being a younger person's hang out. So I joked with him and said, "You're very hip to be ordering coffee at a Starbucks." He smiled and said he wished there were Starbucks around when he was younger. Now he can only look at the pretty women instead of asking them out on a date. We laughed and "played" for the time we were in line together, bantering back and forth.Tthen we both went our separate ways feeling just a little bit better for having opened ourselves to each other. He was a cutie and he probably didn't mind being flirted with by a "younger" woman. To him, I was definitely younger.

Look for Heart Connections this week and then tell us about them here. I'll post your responses on the website. Contact me here

Even better, why don't you join my Heart Connections Facebook group, and share your Heart Connections with all of us.

2) Can You Spot How She's Blowing Her Chance At Love?
I admit that I watch The Bachelor. I learn a lot about human nature on the show and use what I learn in my writing. Well, this last Monday Matt proposed to Shane. You can read my blog on the topic linked below. Rather than saying much here, I invite you to watch how Shane interacts with Matt on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Then write to me and tell me if you can spot the things she's doing that will absolutely, positively, cause him to begin to shrink away and take back his proposal. You can see the video of the Ellen interview and if you want, the proposal is on the right side of the page. View the video then contact me with what you notice. I'll share the results on the website.
My blog post
Video
Contact form

3) Thank You For Sharing With Me
Those of you who have signed up to receive the 2 ebooks and the newsletter more recently have had the opportunity to fill out what your frustrations are, what you are looking for, and how I can help. Thank you for sharing with me. I really, really appreciate it. It helps me know who you are and guides me on topics that you want enlightenment on.

4) You Want A Good Man You Can Respect
This is a topic that has been on many of your forms so it seemed like a good idea to address it. One thing I've learned over the years is that all too often, women get involved with the wrong men. Men don't do this as often and I have a reason why. But first, let's talk about why women do this. One reason is that most women don't have a solid idea of what they want in a man. They have a fuzzy fantasy that doesn't equate to the measure of the kind of life that you'll be able to experience when a man has certain qualities. This is not about looks, money, or power. I'm talking about how capable a man will be of loving you, respecting you, supporting you to be you... those kind of things that color daily life with a person. In my course, How To Recognize The Right Man For You, there are two assignments I would invite you to do. If you are involved with someone, do this anyway because it could show you whether you're with the right or wrong man.

Write an essay of exactly what your ideal partner will be like and how your life will be with him. Go into as much detail as possible, the sky's the limit. Most important, when you read it back, allow yourself to feel in your body, heart and soul what it would be like to be with this kind of man. If you're involved with someone, does he fit into this description? Be honest and notice what you feel. Now, here's a hard question you need to ask yourself: Do you believe you can have this kind of relationship? These are two of the first assignments in this course and they are true eye-openers if you are completely honest with yourself. Allow yourself to notice what you feel.

Another reason women end up with the wrong man is they think they can fix a man. I've heard so many women describe something about a man they don't like, but explain, "I'll fix him after we're married." No, no, no, no, no... that's not the way it should go. You need to let him know long before wedding plans. If there's something that is fixable, see if he cares enough to make the effort, then decide if he's marriage material. If it's something that isn't fixable (men rarely change) then you need to be honest with yourself and move on.

Men don't generally try to fix a woman that isn't right. They generally only have 3 to 5 things they're looking for so if one thing is missing or not right, they move on to the next woman. So do an inventory of your past relationships and see if you've done the "I'll fix him when we're a committed or married" thing. This goes back to the Love Triangle.

If you desire a deeply respectful, loving, fulfilling relationship, you must become aware of what you've done in the past, aware of what you will not tolerate in the future (there's a whole section on this in How To Recognize The Right Man For You), set new, powerful, heart-centered intentions, then pay attention to your energy when you meet a man or when you're with the man you're dating now. I realize this might be new territory for you – delving around inside your heart and soul – but as you learn things about yourself, trust me, there is no more fascinating adventure. Learn about How To Recognize The Right Man For You